Fare thee well

[fanf]

At some point, 10 or 15 years ago, I got into the habit of saying goodbye to people by saying "stay well!"

I like it because it is cheerful, it closes a conversation without introducing a new topic, and it feels meaningful without being stilted (like "farewell") or rote (like "goodbye").

But.

"Stay well" works nicely in a group of healthy people, but it is problematic with people who are ill.

Years ago, before "stay well!" was completely a habit, a colleague got prostate cancer. The treatment was long and brutal. I had to be careful when saying goodbye, but I didn't break the habit.

It is perhaps even worse with people who are chronically ill, because "stay well" (especially when I say it) has a casually privileged assumption that I am saying it to people who are already cheerfully well.

In the last week this phrase has got a new force for me. I really do mean "stay well" more than ever, but I wish I could express it without implying that you are already well or that it is your duty to be well.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Probably why ‘goodbye’, in its original form of ‘God be with you’, caught on; if you are well, God be with you and protect you from harm; if not, God be with you and give you strength to endure.

Pity it became a cliché and lost its meaning.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's hard changing a habit :( I feel a bit the same about "how are you?" -- it's fine for most of the time, but if the answer is "still awful, duh" it's not really what you want to ask.

[ceb.livejournal.com]

I say "look after yourself" to my parents with their many health problems.

[fanf]

That's a good suggestion, thanks!

[rmc28]

I'm fond of "take care [of yourself]" for similar reasons.

[tigerfort.livejournal.com]

Likewise.

[hilarityallen.livejournal.com]

I, on the other hand, go for 'Good newt' and 'Stoat you later'. However, I appreciate that this might not work for everyone...

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I flashed back to 'The Prisoner' and Patrick McGoohan's 'Be Seeing You' with the thumb/forefinger circle gesture. I don't know if anyone else could carrying it off with such panache, though. :^)

[delta_mike]

I've likewise fallen into using the pattern "take care and be well", which while it's meant positively, could have similar unfortunate connotations.

[irishkate.livejournal.com]

Stay well yourself. Make sure you are looking after yourself in all this.